Living in the New America

I am deeply hurt and saddened about this week. How can we be so wrong? How did we feel so sure about it? And then I remembered: I've lived this before. I lived that night a few times before, back home when I became aware of how much influence does politics have in my life. I've lived it before during many elections back in Venezuela when a populist non-trained man decided to speak to the forgotten, to the people whose opinions didn't count in the big scheme of things. He wasn't conciliatory, au contraire he was divisive, spoke of a revolution, he and his hatred ruined my country.  

I'm not an American, but this is where I live, where I decided to stay and have a family. So I rallied, I posted on Facebook, I worked towards change because that speech, Trump's rhetoric was too familiar and scary to me. Sadly, I did it again. I was hopeful, and I decided not to pay attention to the fact that she wasn't the favorite because people my age didn't want any more establishment. I wanted to have a woman president so badly, I wanted to smash the glass ceiling, I wanted to feel like we had a chance on equality. But I forgot that Clinton wasn't a well-liked candidate, she had issues in the past, and her political experience was working against her campaign. 

Then, I faced the reality of having someone saying to me that I wasn't worthy of that equality. Someone stated that I was the problem. So that fueled my social media posts, my discussions, and ideals. I'm not the problem, but now I certainly feel like I'm about to be reminded of that quite often. 

This post terrified me.  

This post terrified me.  

And honestly, I'm terrified: I'm a woman, a Latina with an accent, well educated yes, legal, check! But do you think that people who're yelling "Build the Wall" will ask to see my visa before I get bullied? Or my Indian neighbors will get asked about their American passports when they listen to racial slurs? 

I feel like I don't belong anywhere because I'm Catholic, but I'm also pro-choice, pro-equality, and "no uterus, no opinion" kind of gal. I don't think everyone should bear arms without a proper mental evaluation. I think that people should embrace speaking different languages, treating women equally. I believe you have the right to feel like you belong.  

I am scared now, but if I learned anything from all the times I voted against a demagogue and lost is that I'm resilient. And yes, I don't understand how Republicans want less government but need to talk about my reproductive rights or my friend's marriage, but, now it's time to stand against the bullies. America is more than bigots, racist, hateful few and I'll work to keep it like that. 

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Albus Dumbledore.