Book review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F&*K
As part of my “I’m going to improve myself” goal, I started online therapy using TalkSpace; I practice yoga and reading more books.
Thanks to a friend recommendation I found Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*&k, ” to be honest I enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek title, despite my girly appearance I cuss (a lot).
I believe there're some great life lessons in it:
-It’s not about NOT CARING; it’s about caring about the right things. If you establish what’s truly important to you, everything else seems easier. You need to choose carefully what you care about.
-Are your core values aligned with the f*&ks you give? I’m trying to care less about random things like the person who cut in front on me on the subway (I still believe they suck at this personing thing, but hey... I'm trying). I started to care more about myself and the values I hold dear. Understanding yourself and concentrating on the things that matter to you can take a lifetime and there's no way to cut corners.
Always positive isn't possible: always aiming for positivity and not embracing the negative experiences is a stressful way to live and not a practical one.
I discovered how stressed I was trying to make my life perfect, feeling good all the time and forcing myself to be optimistic. Let's face it: we all have bad days, and it's okay to feel unhappy sometimes.
Forcing yourself to feel happy all the time is a waste of time: sadness and anger also have a place in your life. Emotions are just nature’s way to push you in the right direction.
Learn to embrace your failures: they are a part of life. I felt so sad every time something I worked on didn't have a significant impact or when I got rejected after a great interview. But, it's just part of being human.
Perfection isn’t real. We are conditioned to want more and work harder, buy more stuff, and if for some reason you’re content with your life as it is “there’s something wrong with you.” This is not what matters. Taking responsibility for your life: there’s something so empowering and good for your self-esteem to stop blaming others for your problems. You’re in charge of the fucks you give.
Self-awareness to the most basic levels: I’m not perfect, more often than not I’m wrong and far from special, but I think it’s liberating to understand it and give yourself permission to live life the way you actually want to live it.
I highly recommend this book if you’re a bit tired of plain self-help feel-good books, and you can overcome the extensive use of cuss words and the NSFW title.