How to make friends when you're 30
I just turned 31 a couple of weeks ago and I have to say that making friends has been challenging after certain age. I mean, I've been extremely lucky because I love my group of friends from college, we live in different parts of the world but we're constantly talking to each other and it feels like nothing has changed. But the truth is that it has, not with them but with the possibility of making long lasting relationships instead of just acquaintances. Maybe I'm approaching things differently now that I'm older, but remember when you were in school and how you were making friends easily without cynicism? I miss that time.
With our gypsy life, we've been very blessed and met amazing people all around the world, in Mexico I met incredible people and made friendships that I know will last forever. However, as the time passes getting to know people and having successful relationships isn't easy. Granted, Jorge and I are best friends, he's my person but having a group of different people to learn from is positive and fulfilling.
Since we moved here I met the most incredible people while I was working with them so we have a good support system and I have some tips from my experience.
1. Be open minded: hey, we're not six anymore but, try new things like taking a cooking class or joining a book club and be open to new kinds of people. Don't just look for people like you, that stay-at-home mom has tons of friendship potential, trust me.
2. Make time: meeting new people takes time and as a grown ups we keep everything scheduled but a friendship takes commitment and time. Think of it like dating, there's planning and excitement involved, don't cancel plans because you want to binge watch Gilmore Girls.
3. (Sincere) compliments go a long way: I like smiling at people, they might think I'm crazy but it's a good ice breaker. I also have the habit of complimenting people and doing it when I feel like it, ask my friend Praneet, I complimented her gorgeous hair at the office once, friends ever since.
4. Get real, fast: I'm a weird kind of extrovert and sharing personal things with potential new friends has worked for me because it makes people feel more comfortable. Life isn't perfect but what I love about adulting is that you can get real very fast and you don't need to disguise your flaws (I usually don't showcase the person I am while watching sports for while, but that's me).
5. Live without expectations: you had a magical moment with that girl waiting in line, you got her number but BFF status takes time and when people are busy just like you are, you need to lower your expectations a bit. Friendships at 30 may revolve around simpler things like grabbing coffee or walking your dogs. Remember there's magic in the mundane.