Adulting 101: how to get your sh#! together
Hi, I’m Bela, 31 years old, J.D + M.A in Marketing, married for seven years, dog mama and, I haven’t earned my “I’m adult” badge.
Every day I look put together, I’m usually well dressed (a little too much in fact), we own our home and recycle, we read the paper. We have kept Lola in perfect condition for the past five years; our plants aren’t dying as quick as they used to.
I own an absurd amount of monogrammed items that give people the impression of “classic and tidiness” Yeah, I’m a grown up! But the reality of it all is that I’m not even close.
Social media is the tidy narrative that we share about ourselves; it’s the “see? I have my shit together” version of life but, we don’t include the not-so-perfect parts. While I might be looking perfectly fine with my monogrammed bag, emailing while briskly walking down the street wearing 4 inches high heels without breaking a sweat, inside I’m thinking: “holy shit I’m late, this blister is going to bleed. Fuck. I need to pee!” Although my Instagram stories do tell the reality, sometimes I can't deal with the mess that my daily life can be.
I “adult” on a regular basis but, basically I’m mastering the art of faking it until I can make it and these are my ways:
1. Sleeping is key, so pick your outfits in advance
Hi, are you Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs? No? Okay so don’t give me the: “I wear the same thing everyday” crap. I love sleeping more than I love fashion but, rather spend 30 mins of my Sunday nights deciding what to wear in the week than waking up filled with a mix of hate and rush. Planning my outfits saves me a good 30 mins in the morning where I can sleep more or, do some adult stuff like running or therapy.
2. Plan your meals
I’m all about the rose life but, without meal planning my week and my food budget will be a considerably messier because we eat mostly at home and cook everything from scratch as much as possible. I even take my lunches to the office to avoid eating poorly, why? Well, I have food allergies and also, hate eating crappy food. This doesn't mean I don't love a burger, wings or pizza, but I rather make it myself and be on the safe side. My food budget allows me to buy wine, so I call that I win. (Thank you, Jesus, for $8 Prosecco at Trader Joes).
Get a little blackboard or use Pinterest, choose easy, filling and healthy dishes, prep on Sundays, add wine. You got this. If you eat better, you'll feel better, I can guarantee it. Also, that's adulting at its finest.
3. Fake chill
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pretending to be calm and chill; I do this often. It’s the only way I can have my sanity in check without obsessing about how the fuck am I going to manage this immense amount of work?
Yes, I'm asking you to fake a sense of calm and zen, it's not easy, but you can do it. It's completely fine not to have your shit together all the time but, don't show it. The fake it till you make it motto has worked for years.
4. Budget dude, c’mon!
It sounds pretty obvious but, for some reason budgets are never the first thing you have on your mind. I know I don't. But, my husband (and the lovely people at Mint) taught me that 50% off your income should go to your pressing needs, 30% to personal like gym, going outside and fun and 20% for savings. It sucks, I want to spend all my money on Louboutins and ice cream, but a girl needs to adult.
5. Do things you love, often
I love cooking, hanging with my husband, reading, and watching Game of Thrones. I do these things to keep myself sane and happy. Sometimes our adulting thing gets out of hand, and we don't allow ourselves to do things we love. I enjoy sleeping and doing nothing at home while I'm cuddling with Lola, and I won't feel guilty about it. You need to prioritize yourself to function and be there for others that don't make you an asshole; you need to be well to be there.
6. The Power Hour method
I dedicate one hour to myself, during this time I plan my outfits, do some journaling, yoga, listen to a podcast or even watch some Tasty videos. I break down this hour in little blocks and that gives me something to look forward when I wake up. It's an hour for myself and my mental health otherwise I'll be a completely a-hole all week. No one wants to see that.
If I can do it, you can. We got this, at least for now.