8 Years Later
What I've learned in 8 years of marriage and creating our own happily ever after
Jorge and I got married 8 years ago, after being together for a year and nine months. We got married in a tiny church back in Caracas, had a reception, and celebrated with family and friends. We drank champagne, danced and laughed. And that was the beginning of our life together.
He and I never lived together until that moment, we moved from Caracas to Mexico City, he was 25 and I was 23. Being married changed everything because we went from being kids that lived at home to being on our own in a foreign place. It was the hardest year of our marriage.
8 years of changes, including moving from one place to another, and from one country to the next. Making friends along the way, losing some too. But my biggest learning is that we can deal with everything that life throws at us, as long as we are together, and as long as we are patient and kind.
I'm not afraid to say that I'm madly, fearlessly in love with him, that my best moments are when we are together. But also, I learned to love the person that I am inside and outside of our relationship. One big thing of the past 8 years is that we are not just a couple or best friends, we are our own person with individual goals and dreams but, we are there for each other, pushing us to be better every day.
And we fight, we say things out of anger or annoyance, but the times I've pictured my life without Jorge, it seems so dull, sad and incomplete. In 10 years together we've grown and we aim to be better with each passing day. I've learned from him to be less selfish, to be more rational when I have to, don't let shit simmer, and always talk things out. He makes me want to be the best version of myself. And that's something that I'm very grateful for.
I love that we do go on dates and schedule time together. Both of us have a pretty hectic work life, so we plan dates and little trips. And, when he's home we workout at 5 AM and have breakfast together after. It's a couple of hours of our day that we get to truly enjoy being together.
We like the same movies (most times), love video games and Star Wars but, he doesn't eat cheese and I could eat parmesan with all foods every single day. I don't like cardio and Jorge LOVES running. He lets me be adventurous, I have girls only weekends, try new things and get to be unapologetically myself. He's also caring, kind and loves me despite the fact that I'm volatile and sometimes a bit messy.
One little reminder:
While my married life is pretty amazing with its ups and downs, one thing is that I learned how to love myself, the person outside of being Mrs. Figueira. Being married wasn't a goal for me and definitely, don't measure my value based on the fact that I'm someones plus one. Marriage is a partnership, it's not a reflection of my value. And that's a lesson that I've learned in 10 years of being in a healthy, loving relationship.
I love being married but my favorite thing is being married to Jorge. He's worthy of me not buying bleu cheese or cooking with butter and I genuinely never been as happy as I'm today.
One last thing:
Celebrate love for the sake of love. Celebrate caring beyond a certain date. Celebrate your gals, your soulmates, your partners in crime. Remember, intimacy is essential (not talking about sex! Close and personal does not mean sexual) talking about those deep connections that we have with others. Love is about facing all of our fears to be hurt, open yourself to the kind of love that you deserve.