Remembering Kate

Kate Spade had a deep influence in my relationship with clothes. And with myself.

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Never in my wildest dreams would have thought that most of my super feminine dresses would come from her brand. And there I was on eBay while living in Mexico ordering a dress that took forever to arrive and it was too expensive for my budget but, I didn't care. I tried it on and to be honest I never felt more feminine. Yes, I loved my wedding dress and, it does hold the place as my favorite dress ever but, since then every single dress was disappointing to me, too weird, it highlighted the wrong areas, wasn't colorful enough. It wasn't "me." 
Then after I moved to the U.S., I had access to Kate Spade stores where I could shop whenever my wallet allowed it (and more often than not, my wallet didn't, but I love it so much). My obsession with her colorful ways and the perfect fit and flare was everything I wanted to wear. That's how my collection started. 
Kate Spade made me feel comfortable with being ultra feminine;  wore my peter pan collars proudly to job interviews, to meetings filled with men who undoubtedly stared at me like I didn't belong in there. She gave me the confidence I was lacking, and she gave me the feminine wardrobe I secretly longed for, the courage to rock my twirly dresses and colorful stripes. Her clothes made me feel pretty even though I questioned that all the time. 

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My whole life I struggled with anxiety and depression that dragged me to very dark places and somehow when I was wearing a Kate Spade dress, I felt ready to conquer the world and leave my fears behind. No, I'm not saying that being well dressed took my depression away, but it's a form of self-care for me, and sometimes you need to do whatever makes you feel better. 
The day she departed this world I was just a few blocks away from her apartment and near the flagship store. I haven't shopped KS since Coach acquired it but, I cherish my dresses whenever I see them. Whenever I need extra oomph, I grab my little black dress with bows in the back and ready to conquer the day. 
Mental health, our issues, and struggles shouldn't be a shameful thing, but sometimes we forget to reach out to those who seem happier, to have it all together. Those are probably the ones who need it the most. Because what Instagram shows you aren't always the real, raw days where we don't want to go outside, and our issues feel like they're dragging you into a hole. 
Depression feels so drowning, and it's hard to talk about it so reaching out it's not the easiest way to do. Ask your friends, talk and let them know you're there. You better believe that one kind, uplifting comment can help tons. 
I'll honor Kate Spade by continue talking about my struggle and sharing, asking for help and reaching out to my people. And, if you ever need a friend, I'm here for you probably wearing a KSNY striped dress. 

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Love, 
Bela 

If you or someone you know is struggling, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255