A Year Without Shopping
Today will be the first of 364 days of me not shopping for clothes.
A few weeks ago I was eagerly opening all of the J.Crew boxes with beautiful clothes I bought, went upstairs to my closet just to discover that I ran out of room, so I needed to do a cleanup. But, then I realized that a bunch of items still had the tags, and, in my head where these questions, "when did I get this?, how come I haven't worn it? That's not my size anymore" Oh shit, did I just become a hoarder?
My closet, usually my haven where I go to think and be happy, where I hide from migraines and bad days had become somewhat unmanageable to me and, it's not a super small space. So what went wrong? Nothing really, it was just me using shopping as an excuse to improve a bad day or saying, I need new photos so might as well shop for new clothes now. Or there are new arrivals at J.crew (that happens EVERY MONTH). Something I loved doing became so customary and frequent that I was doing it aimlessly. That was a wake-up call plus the fact that my closet rack actually fell off and Jorge gave me a look. He was right tho.
My new clothes often felt like a security blanket, something that made me feel prettier or more secure and, I realized that was having tiny freakouts if I didn't have anything new to wear. "What the hell?" I didn't need more clothes, I need to be creative.
Today I'm dealing with the challenge of wearing, talking and writing about things I own; I'm challenging myself to minimize and conceptualize my wardrobe, also I want to make sure I can be trendy with my clothes. Let's face it, I have a closet full of classic preppy J.Crew outfits, so I want to believe this is doable.
My goal (and challenge) is to maintain my aesthetic feel seasonally appropriate, keep doing photoshoots with the things I own. Also, I'll keep sharing my picks when I find something I like. However, it feels a bit irresponsible to say that you "absolutely need this sweater or that skirt" because that's not true. I love keeping up with the new arrivals but, also need to be more mindful of the things I buy because shopping used to be something I enjoyed doing and suddenly became just rushing through websites and aimlessly putting stuff on a cart.
After a lot of thought and dread, I decided to move forward and do a thorough closet cleanup, donate and send a few items to ThredUp that are brand new (but not my current size). I was terrified of letting go of some stuff, "what if I need it? what if I want to wear this again? what if I gain weight?" My attachment to clothes was stronger that I thought and one of my goals for this year is to learn how to be less attached. So, discipline was a must.
I prepared myself for this moment, I replaced old jeans with new ones, bought a couple of white shirts, black pumps (to replace my beloved suede J.Crew pumps), one thirdlove bra and workout clothes that I needed. However, no new dresses or skirts, no more new striped shirts. Zero trendy stuff.
I didn't do resolutions per se, I just set new goals and I'll continue doing so and celebrating every little win. My only big one is this: can I survive a year without the rush of getting packages? Will my UPS guy get suspicious?
Let me know your goals!